5 DBT Informed Skills for the New Year
At the start of a new year many people set resolutions, or goals, to improve their physical and mental health, relationships, career, and more. Whether you set specific goals for the new year, or simply see the time as a fresh start, the beginning of 2023 is a great time to return to the basic dialectic in DBT Informed Therapy. DBT Informed Therapy encourages a dialectic, or balance, of both change and acceptance. We can have goals and work toward change in the new year, while at the same time demonstrating acceptance for ourselves and our circumstances right here, right now.
As we move into the new year, I would like to share some DBT Informed Skills to help bring more balance to your life. These skills can help us to be more mindful, to regulate emotions, to tolerate distress, and to have healthy interactions with others. I encourage you to see which skills will be helpful for you as we begin 2023. Information on the skills is adapted from The DBT Skills Training Manual by Marsha Linehan (2015).
Build Mastery
This emotion regulation skill encourages us to learn new things, engage in new activities, and accomplish goals. When we have a sense of accomplishment, we build positive emotions. Examples of build mastery could include participating in a new hobby, such as painting, playing an instrument, or cooking. Other examples could include building mastery in daily tasks related to exercise or household chores, such as having a daily movement routine or making the bed each morning.
An important aspect of this skill is to remember to set yourself up for success. Goals should be attainable while at the same time involving enough challenge. For example, if your goal is to build a routine of going to the gym, ten minutes a week would not be challenging enough or effective, while three hours a day would be unrealistic to maintain and likely painful for your body. A balance in level of difficulty is better while remembering that it can be adjusted as needed.
PLEASE
PLEASE is an emotion regulation skill that is focused on taking care of our physical health to reduce vulnerabilities to emotions. If we take care of our bodies, we often feel better mentally and emotionally as well.
PL =Treat Physical Illness
E= Balanced Eating
A = Avoid Mood Altering Substances (alcohol and other drugs)
S= Balanced Sleep
E= Exercise
IMPROVE the Moment
This skill is a crisis survival, distress tolerance skill, meaning that it is helpful for managing high levels of emotions or difficult situations, without making things worse.
Imagery – One way to use imagery is to imagine yourself accomplishing your goal, and rehearse this in your mind over and over. For example, if you have a goal of being promoted at work, and this is an attainable goal for you that you are working toward, you could imagine accepting the promotion and being in your desired role.
Meaning – This part of the skill reminds me of the saying, “making lemonade out of lemons.” Maybe you are in a transition phase for 2023 and you can seek to make meaning of a tough ending by seeking new opportunities, or recognizing your growth.
Prayer – Maybe you pray to your higher power for comfort or maybe you pray to your inner wise mind to help you choose the next action mindfully.
Relaxation – Relaxing activities can include meditation, deep breathing, bubble baths, being outdoors, reading a book, and so much more. It’s not so much about what you do but rather that it is relaxing and healthy for you.
One-Thing in the Moment – You can work to tolerate distress by keeping your attention on one thing at a time. Maybe you can try to stay present by noticing each step of a task. You can also practice by being aware of sensory information: vision, hearing, smell, touch, taste, and movement.
Vacation – A brief vacation to improve the moment does not have to look like a traditional trip. The vacation skill can include taking a break from social media, stepping away from work for ten minutes, or changing scenery by going outdoors.
Encouragement – Improve the moment with self-encouragement and rethinking the situation, can look like positive affirmations, or cheerleading statements (“I’m learning,” “I’m doing my best.”). It can also mean focusing on the facts rather than negative self-talk.
Effectively
This mindfulness skill encourages us to check to see if we are acting in ways that align with our goals, “am I doing what works?” As you start making efforts in the new year, be sure to define your goals and then ask if your actions in various situations match these goals. If not, you can examine what the barriers are, or what actions would match your goals.
Non-judgmentally
This mindfulness skill asks us to withhold labels of “good” or “bad” or other judgmental language toward ourselves or others. At the same time, we can still acknowledge what is helpful or harmful, healthy or unhealthy. One way I would encourage you to practice non-judgement toward yourself in the new year is to separate your self worth from your goals. If we separate these two things, we realize that meeting your goals has one set of consequences and not meeting your goals has another set of consequences. Not reaching your goals, does not make you a “bad person,” “lazy” or “stupid.” Goals can be great, if met with both a desire for change and a mindset of acceptance.
DBT-Informed Therapy
Are you interested in having more balance in your emotions and relationships?
Mindspace Counseling offers an online DBT-Informed Skills Group for adults who are physically located anywhere in North Carolina. You will be able to learn numerous skills in a supportive environment with guided learning and practice. Reach out for a free consultation.
Other Services Offered at Mindspace Counseling
DBT Informed Therapy is not the only service we offer at our North Carolina-based therapy practice. We also provide anxiety treatment,, grief counseling, EMDR, and EMDR intensive therapy, as well as postpartum mental health, and perinatal mental health counseling. In fact, we can help you virtually via online therapy in North Carolina, South Carolina, and online therapy in Florida. Get connected with us today.
