​The holiday season is fast approaching. Southpark Mall will soon put up Christmas decorations with a giant Christmas tree, photo with Santa, and everything. Holiday decorations are everywhere. It seems to be or is supposed to be a joyous and restful time with friends and family. 

However, it can also be a vulnerable time for a lot of people.

The stress of getting presents for everyone, organizing family get-togethers, and traveling, just to name a few, can be overwhelming. Moreover, either being around family members or not being able to be with family can bring up unresolved issues or create new ones. If you have struggled with substance use, there is also the challenge presented by the cultural or social tradition of celebrating with a drink or by the old habit of binge using during this time. Depressive and anxiety symptoms may intensify due to the added stress.

You feel the pull of all these forces. You might even be scared of dealing with them all at once and worrying about how you will safely get through the holidays.

In a way, it is a good sign that you are concerned. I would be more worried if you are oblivious to those potential stressors and thinking or hoping that nothing is gonna happen to you since you’ve been doing great for a while.

In fact, an appropriate amount of fear can help you stay vigilant and safe, especially when it is also followed by preparation and actions.

Here are some tips to help you get through the holidays:

1. Set realistic expectations. The notion of the “perfect” family get-together or “I’m supposed to be happy like everybody else” may not be realistic. You don’t have to set yourself up for frustration and disappointment.

2. Allocate more time for your daily discipline. Whatever you do on a daily basis that help you maintain physical and emotional well-being, whether it be yoga or outdoor exercise or reading, not only keep up with those activities, but also try to do more of them if you can. ​Think about your sense of well-being like a bank account. If you are withdrawing more from your emotional bank account to deal with the increased stress, then you need to replenish it more in order to keep the balance.​ Remember, you are still your priority.

3. Learn to delegate tasks. You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Maybe your kids can help clean up the house. Perhaps some of the holiday shopping can go to your partner. Maybe your sister can help plan the holiday party. Or your mother-in-law is willing to watch the baby for a few hours. It doesn’t help in the long run to overburden yourself or believe only you can do a good job with certain task​s​.

4. Set comfortable limits and learn to say no. Determine ahead of time how much you want to get involved. Recognize your choices. Figure out what you really want to do and how you want to spend your time. You don’t have to accept all the invitations. You don’t have to drink when it is offered. You also don’t owe ​others an explanation​ when you say no​.​ If you often have difficulty saying no. role play with a supportive person.

5. If you are in recovery from substance use, review your relapse prevention plan as often as possible. Notice any issue or relapse warning sign that has come up. Then use your coping strategies to deal with them including asking for help if needed. 

6. Pay attention to your feelings. They are signals that give us important information. By pausing for a moment to evaluate what is really going on, you can then make a decision about what to do next. Sometimes, taking a brief time-out is what you need to regroup. Other times, you may need to call a close friend or leave the situation in order to maintain your well-being.

7. Find meaning in the Season. Focus on the positive aspects of the holidays. Find and connect to parts that give you a meaning or purpose. Maybe you can connect with being grateful for all that you have. Giving to others may help you get out of yourself and have a sense of contributing to the world. You may connect more with the spiritual significance of the holidays.

All in all, even if the holiday season is stressful for you and presents additional challenges, it can be a great opportunity to help you practice your coping strategies, learn more about yourself, and strengthen your positive relationships.