How to Prioritize Yourself When You Have a Newborn
So often, we think that having our baby is the finish line, that it’s a moment of magical fulfillment and complete joy. As always, the reality is more complex. Bringing a new baby into the world is a physically and emotionally exhausting process — and that’s only the beginning. Once the baby has arrived, there are sleepless nights, endless feedings, and, for many new parents, deep anxiety that leaves us constantly on edge.
It’s not uncommon for new parents to struggle to find their footing in this new environment. But ignoring our own needs isn’t healthy. In the long term, it’s important to learn how to balance our needs with our baby’s needs and prioritize our own self-care from time to time.
Acknowledge Realities
It is important to acknowledge our limitations and needs as part of this process. We are all flesh and blood, just like our children. While a new baby needs to be fed, held, and loved, our needs are more complex. We need intellectual stimulation, physical exercise, and variety. We can’t do it all without sleep, no matter how hard we try or what society expects of us.
Accordingly, the first step in learning to prioritize ourselves when we have a newborn is acknowledging and accepting our limitations and needs. Once we recognize them, we can be open and vulnerable about our need for support.
Open Communication
New babies are wonderful, but they’re not great conversationalists. It’s not unusual for new parents to feel isolated and cut off from their friends and social groups. Even in the late stages of pregnancy, we usually have more social activity than immediately after a baby is born. Reaching out to your friends and family to let them know that you’re struggling can be difficult — after all, we feel enormous pressure as new parents to be blissful at all times.
This period of our lives is one of tremendous change. Postpartum depression and inexplicable bouts of sadness are common — and one of the best cures is to acknowledge our fears and worries.
Delegate Responsibility
As a new parent, it can be difficult to trust someone else to watch over our baby. Even so, it’s important to learn to share that responsibility. Consider scheduling regular visits from friends or family members, where they can watch over the baby while we attend to our own needs. Even walking around the block or taking a long shower can be tremendously refreshing.
We’re often surprised to learn how excited the people in our lives are to help. Often, they offer without knowing what we need — and we don’t know what to ask for. Make a wish list so you’re ready for those offers. Invite people to socialize and do chores together. This might look like a week’s worth of meal prep or folding some laundry while watching a show together.
Simple Forms of Self-Care
Newborn babies are incredibly disruptive to our daily routines, so it’s important to develop a new routine that allows us to care for ourselves and our newborn. Getting outside for a little sunshine is a key way to stave off depression, and engaging in low-impact hobbies like reading, writing, or doing puzzles may help us stimulate our minds. When sleep feels elusive, create a schedule with your partner to alternate night feedings so you both can get a little more sleep.
Additionally, it’s important to accept we may not be able to do everything we’d like to do around the house. Getting proper rest is more important.
Schedule a Consultation
It’s common to struggle when juggling our needs and those of a newborn. Schedule a consultation today, and we can work on creating a plan to help you prioritize yourself in a way that works for you and your newborn.
