This book is about healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers.

The author draws from her research and clinical practice, as well as her own life experiences recovering from growing up with a narcissistic mother. The book is divided into three main parts, where she explains

  • the problem of having a narcissistic mother
  • how narcissistic mothering affects your entire life
  • specific steps you can take to recover and end the legacy.

In the first part of the book, the author lays out what is narcissism and examples of how it plays out in mother-daughter dynamic. She provides a questionnaire for you to see if your mother has narcissistic traits. The more traits your mother has, the more likely she behaves as if “It’s all about me” and “you are not good enough.” All in all, there is lack of love, empathy, and emotional connection from the mother.

According to McBride, there are “the engulfing mother” “the ignoring mother“, and those who have a mixture of engulfing and ignoring behaviors. Furthermore, she writes that her research has identified six specific types of narcissistic mothers within the engulfing-ignoring spectrum: the flamboyant-extrovert, the accomplishment-oriented, the psychosomatic, the addicted, the secretly mean, and the emotionally needy.

McBride also examines the narcissistic family system, the dad, brothers, and sisters.

In part two, the author explains how narcissistic mothering affects your entire life. She talks about the high-achieving daughter and the self-sabotaging daughter, the unhealthy relationships you tend to have in your adult life, and when daughters become mothers. She provides numerous examples to explain the impact.

Finally, in part three, McBride lays out specific recovery steps. They are:

  • Accept your mother’s limitations and grieve that you did not have the mother you wanted
  • Separate psychologically from your mother, and reframe the negative messages that you absorbed from her into positive ones
  • Develop and accept your own identity, feelings, and desires
  • Deal with your mother in a different, healthy manner
  • Work to recognize your own narcissistic traits and refuse to pass them on to your children

The author goes into details about what to do, questions to ask, signs to look for, and helpful exercises to do, in order to go through those steps.